Where Can I Get a Phone?
by Laili the Turk
Summary: The funny story of Vincent getting his phone like he asked for in Advent Children. Taken after AC and before DoC.
1. You kids these days

Hello once again.

This is just a short drabble by me.

I do not own FFVII.

Enjoy!

--

Vincent's Phone

Chapter 1 – You kids today…

"You want a phone?" Cloud asked, looking up from his plate consisting of a chocobo patty burger with lettuce and tomato and some fires on the side. A condensing cold glass of cola seated next to the plate.

"Yes. After not having a phone when Marlene needed it, I considered getting one." Vincent spoke as he sat across from Cloud at the small booth table of Tifa's 7th Heaven. Nothing but a small glass of cola which was held in Vincent's hand, cold and wet against his gloved hand.

"That is true. We do have a hard time contacting you sometimes." Cloud spoke, just swallowing a bite of his lunch. "Then again, I need to get a new phone. I guess we can do that after lunch."

"You need to buy a phone too?" Vincent asked.

"No. It was under warranty. I can get it replaced for free if I bring in the receipt and my washed up phone. The Turks found it when they were doing investigating there after we defeated Kadaj and his gang." Cloud spoke. "Yeah, I'll get mine replaced and we'll get you one."

"Sounds like a plan." Vincent took a sip from the straw, taking in the fizzy liquid. "How much would a phone cost?"

"Got mine for 500 gil on sale." Cloud picked up his burger. "Got the gil to get one."

Vincent placed his drink down and reached into his pocket, jingling can be heard from the leather and red cape. Vincent's hand emerged and dropped out bullets, gil, and some lint. He poked around the pil, counting the amount he had.

"I have… 350 gil." Vincent sighed.

"That's fine. The prices vary. You can get a phone with that much gil." Cloud spoke. "If you need any help, I'll be glad to pitch in. Besides, I owe you for getting me out of trouble in the Forgotten City."

"Then it's a… deal?" Vincent asked.

The door chimed as Cloud and Vincent walked into the store. The walls were aligned with shelves stocked full of technology. Digital cameras were strapped to the walls with cords, Mp3 players were behind glass doors, and everything else was sealed to perfection.

The clerk behind the counter was a lovely young woman. She was seated on a stool reading a book. Her black hair was pulled back into a sleek set of pigtails resting behind her ears, pierced with a set of earrings in the shape of black roses. She wore a nice, fitted red sweater with a pair of black pants, followed along with a nice pair of black shoes. Her brown eyes were scanning the pages of the book elegantly as she gracefully turned the pages.

"Raven." Cloud walked up. Raven looked up and smiled, placing a sticky note in the book and closing it.

"Welcome back Cloud." Raven smiled as she gently hopped off her stool and stood up. "What do you need?"

"I need a new phone." Cloud slid the receipt to her over the glass countertop, then placed his washed up phone next to it. "It… uh. It fell in a pond."

Raven rolled her eyes as she took the receipt and looked it over, then picking up the phone and walking away from the checkout to a load of shelves behind her.

"I hear so many excuses for how people's items break." Raven spoke. "Ran over by a car. Beaten to pieces by a baby. Dropped into a toilet."

Cloud and Vincent stared at her, hearing one line stories of the excuses she receives on a daily basis on why people's electronic devices are coming back to her.

"Weird, how people can't be responsible for their beloved items." Vincent spoke. "Probably don't deserve them at all if they're just gonna break them."

Cloud pouted at Vincent as Raven turned around from the selves, looking for the type of phone Cloud has.

"Yeah. I have to agree." Raven nodded and turned back around. "Ah! Here it is!"

She grabbed a box and placed it on the counter in front of Cloud and Vincent. She gracefully opened it and pulled out a phone, just like Cloud's old one and presented it to the men standing in front of her.

"Is this your phone?" She asked, with a small, gentle smile on her face.

"That will be it." Cloud nodded. Raven opened it up and typed for a bit, programming it to have Cloud's number which was written on the receipt and then gently placed it into the box, closed it and began typing on a computer.

"Your warranty expires next month; at least you came today to replace it. Do you want that extended for another year?"

Cloud nodded, whipping out his wallet. "Yes please."

"That'll be 150 gil please." Raven held her hand out, accept the gil from Cloud as she counted it and placed it into the cash register. She then printed off another receipt and placed it on top of the box. "Anything else?"

"He needs a phone." Cloud pointed to Vincent. "Can you see that he gets one?"

"Yes." Raven smiled and looked over at Vincent, she then looked at him weird because of his attire, then straigtened up and smiled.

"What would you like?" Raven chirped.

"A phone." Vincent spoke.

"What kind of phone. House phone? Toy phone? Cell—"

"Cell phone. Like Cloud's." Vincent pointed to Cloud, who was leaning on the counter with his new phone on and dialing in numbers. Raven and Vincent looked at him with weird looks.

"I thought you were helping me get a phone?" Vincent spoke.

"I am. I brought you to Raven. She can help you." Cloud spoke as he was pushing buttons and customizing his phone. Raven rolled her eyes at the sight.

"C'mon Vincent. I'll help." Raven sighed and walked around the counter and motioned Vincent to follow her to a wall lined with cell phones.

"Where do you start?" Vincent asked looking at the wide array of phones.

"Well, first, you need to know what you need in a phone." Raven spoke. She grabbed one phone, a pink one with flowers on it and showed it to Vincent. "Like, big, easy to see and push buttons."

"…" Vincent looked at the phone. "Can I not get it in… pink?"

"Yes. These are on display only. The signs here show what colors, types, and features you want in a phone." Raven pointed one out for Vincent to see, who leaned over and read one. "Unless… you want a pink phone."

"No." Vincent said blankly. "No pink."

"Okay, no pink phones." Raven placed the phone in her hand back and looked. "How about… this one?"

She grabbed a black phone and flipped it open. "This one has large buttons, a bright LCD screen, it can take pictures."

"Then it's a camera." Vincent spoke.

"No, this phone has a feature to take pictures. Observe!" Raven held it in front of Vincent and a snapshot noise was heard, making Vincent feel uncomfortable that his picture was taken. Raven then turned it for him to see.

"See?" Raven smiled. "It's helpful if you're having a hard time describing something to someone."

"I see." Vincent looked at it. "Can you uhhh…"

"Delete your picture off?"

"Yes, that would be nice." Vincent nodded. Raven stood next to Vincent and pushed a button, making the picture disappear.

"Done." She smiled. "So, camera feature or not?"

"I'll take one with a camera." Vincent took a moment to think. "Though I won't use it much, it can be helpful."

"Good." Raven placed the phone back. "Now, This one has a feature for games."

"Games?" Vincent cocked up an eyebrow.

"Yep. Like Viper or Tetris." She showed him the phone playing the Viper game, as the long chain like snake was moving around the screen with her directing it to each the bit of food.

"Not sure about play games…" Vincent spoke.

"They're a fun thing to do when you're bored." Cloud spoke.

"You play games on your phone?" Vincent asked.

"I rule at Tetris." Cloud smiled and went back to his phone, muttering a name and typing in their number.

"I don't think I'll need a game on my phone." Vincent said. Raven nodded and placed the phone back on the shelf.

"Now, all phones come with texting and—"

"Texting?" Vincent asked.

"Yes, you can send a message, like an email to anyone on a phone. Like Cloud's." Raven spoke.

"But there's no letters on a phone." Vincent spoke. "Just numbers."

"Well, that was 50 years ago." Raven giggled. She grabbed another phone and flipped it open. "See, these letters in alphabetical order show which letter they have… so…"

She reached into her pocket and grabbed her own phone, a black one and flipped it open. She began to text, showing Vincent how it works, then hitting the send button. In seconds, Cloud's new phone rang off. Cloud opened it to read it.

"You are boring." Cloud read it off. Making Raven laugh and making Vincent chuckle a bit. Cloud glared at them and went back to programming his phone.

"Okay. What else do they have?" Vincent asked.

"Customizable ring-tones." Raven spoke. "You have to do it online to do that. Cloud can help you with that."

"Yeah yeah." Cloud spoke.

"So, which phone on this wall suits me?" Vincent asked. "And can it be water-proof?"

Cloud glared at Vincent as Raven chuckled.

"No, phones aren't water-proof. But we can cover them so that if something were to happen, you can replace it for free." Raven smiled.

"Okay then." Vincent asked. "Which phone."

Raven pulled the first phone she had and held it up. "The pink one I first held up."

Vincent's eyes grew big as she held it up.

"Would you like it in crimson or black?" She asked.

"Black." Vincent sighed in relief.

"I have one with a Cerberus logo on it, based off the gun brand." Raven placed the phone down on the shelf and walked over to the counter. "They're having a special, get this phone for 30 off if you get it with the logo."

Vincent followed as she grabbed a box and showed it to him. Vincent then looked at Cloud then back to Raven.

"I'll take it." Vincent nodded. Raven smiled as she walked over to the register and began typing in numbers and whatnot. "Phone for 300 gil. 150 gil for warranty. Your total is 450 gil please."

Vincent placed down all his gil. Cloud then placed down the remaining amount on the counter. Raven took the gil and counted it, placed it in the register and printed the receipt.

"This is your number." Raven pointed on the receipt. "You can find it under 'Contacts' then 'Self Number'."

"Thank you." Vincent nodded and took the box.

"Come back anytime!" Raven waved as Cloud and Vincent walked out of the store.

"That took a while." Cloud sighed as they walked out of the store, placing his replaced phone in his pocket. "You sure were picky when you took your time."

"Well, I never had a cell phone. Sorry." Vincent spoke.

"That is true, your fifty years behind—"

"You don't want to finish that sentence." Vincent growled as he walked away alongside Cloud. Cloud stayed silent as he walked alongside Vincent.

"So, got an idea for a ringtone?" Cloud asked.

"You kids today..." Vincent sighed as they went back to 7th Heaven.

--

Thanks to boredom, playing FFVII and realizing that a story had to be made, it has been done.

More is coming!

Enjoy!


	2. There is no way I'm getting that

Hello once again! I bring you another chapter of Vincent getting his phone!

I do not own FFVII and anything related to it.

--

Chapter 2: There is no way I'm having that…

Vincent sat at the bar at 7th Heaven with his prized box, inside containing his brand new cell phone. He plopped the box down and opened it, reached in and grabbed the instruction manual out and flipped it open, then began to read it.

"You know, Cloud never looked at the manual to know his phone." A boy's voice spoke.

Vincent peeked beyond the pages of the manual to see a boy with brown hair, looking at him. Denzel was drying a glass in his hand with a small towel.

"Where's Tifa? Isn't she suppose to be—"

"She went to the store with Marlene." Denzel interrupted. "We ran out of milk and eggs to make cookies."

"Then why are you cleaning glasses?" Vincent asked.

"Gotta have milk with the cookies. We had no more clean glasses." Denzel sighed. "They're chocolate chip cookies."

Vincent just nodded and went back to reading the manual.

"Where's Cloud?" Denzel asked.

"He was called just as we were a mile away from here to deliver a package for Reeve to Rufus." Vincent said, continuing to skim through the manual. He reached into the box and grabbed his phone, holding the manual with his clawed hand as he flipped his phone open with his right, gloved hand.

"Let's see… setting up a ringtone." Vincent muttered.

"Oh! That's easy!" Denzel smiled.

"Denzel, I want to learn this myself. Go make your cookies." Vincent said, pressing buttons that made beeping noises.

"Can't. Tifa and Marlene are out to get milk and eggs for the cookies." Denzel sighed, placing the clean glass and towel down on the countertop. "I just told you that two minutes ago."

"Denzel?"

"What?"

"What's a USB cord?" Vincent asked.

Denzel looked at Vincent like he was crazy, then looked into the box and pulled out a black cord. "This is. You hook this end to the phone, and this end to a computer."

"A computer?" Vincent looked down at the phone. "I don't—"

"You can use Cloud's." Denzel said. "He hardly uses it anyway."

Denzel began to go upstairs. "Follow me."

Vincent placed everything in the box and followed the boy up the stairs, only to get lost in the mayhem of hallways and rooms.

"Den—"

"In here!" Denzel shouted from another room. Vincent turned around and followed the source of the voice. He turned into a room and saw Denzel, seated in a office chair as the computer was booting up.

"Cloud's room?" Vincent asked.

"Yep. His room, office, den… call it what you want." Denzel turned in the chair and looked at the screen. Vincent stood behind him as Denzel appeared at the log-in screen.

"Looks like you need a pass—"

Denzel typed quickly onto the keyboard and in seconds, the desktop opened on the computer. The backround featured a motorcycle, all polished and ready on a black backround. Icons were displayed on the side.

"How do you know Cloud's password?" Vincent asked.

"I watch him type it in when I sit next to him filing paperwork and taking his phone calls." Denzel sighed. "I happen to be like a secretary to him."

"Oh."

"Let me see the box." Denzel held on hand out. Vincent handed him the box with everything in it. Denzel placed it on the desk and went through it. He placed the phone down first, then the USB cord. He pushed the box to the side and hooked the USB cord up to the computer, then to the phone which he turned on.

"I'll walk you through it." Denzel said, cracking his knuckles as he got ready to type on the keyboard.

"Alright."

"First, hook the phone up with the USB cord, just like I just did." Denzel spoke. He then clicked on an internet browser and began going through the menu of bookmarks. "Second, Cloud has a site here for ringtones which are free. Which is… right here!"

Denzel clicked on it and a site opened up. Vincent watched as Denzel worked his magic.

"What kind of ringtone would you like?" Denzel asked.

"I have no idea. Surprise me." Vincent said. Denzel clicked a few pages in and began to preview.

"This one?" Denzel asked.

"Drrr…. DING DING DING DING DING DING DING BLUK BLAH BLAAAAHHH DRRR DING DING DING--" A ringtone was heard on the computer. Sounding as if someone was high on drugs and pretending to be a motorcycle.

"Not that one." Vincent said. Denzel shrugged and clicked on another one. A nice, chirping beeping ring came along.

"No. Too bird like." Vincent asked. Denzel clicked on another one, it was pitched, going "Bee Beee Be… Bee be be Bee."

"Too… cheery." Vincent asked.

It had been an hour. Denzel was on the verge of falling asleep. Vincent had not picked out a ringtone. Denzel, like a zombie, kept clicking the preview button.

"Not that one either." Vincent said.

"Vincent. How about this one?!" Denzel jumped in his seat, wanting this to be done and over with as he clicked to preview it.

Victory Fanfare played in the room. Vincent sighed and shook his head.

"Not that one."

"Why not?" Denzel asked.

"Yuffie kept singing that tune every single time a battle ended… no matter how many times we asked her to stop. She didn't." Vincent explained. "It brings me nightmares."

"It's not that bad."

"It is bad."

Silence went between the two. Denzel pouted at Vincent, trying to make him take the ringtone. Vincent's eyes were glaring bright red at the boy seated in the chair.

"DENZEL!" Tifa shouted from downstairs. "We're back!"

"We're gonna make cookies before Cloud and Papa come home!" Marlene shouted.

Denzel stuck his head out and was about to bolt out of the room. By the time he got by Vincent, something yanked him from the back of the collar of his shirt.

He stumbled back and looked up to see Vincent.

"Just get me a plain, ringing tone, like a telephone and I'll let you have cookies." Vincent growled.

Denzel stormed back to the chair and did some typing and clicking. He then clicked download once it was found and was on Vincent's phone.

He then unhooked the USB cord and placed it in the box. He flipped open the phone, pressed a few buttons and a playing ringing noise you would here from a home telephone was heard.

"Can I go now?"

"Yes." Vincent took the phone from Denzel's hand and looked at it.

"Why not have that other ringtone as your—"

"There is NO way I am having that as my ringtone." Vincent said. "Thank you for your help. You can go and make cookies with Tifa and Marlene."

"Woo!" Denzel hit the log off button on the computer and ran down the stairs in a flash.

"Kids…" Vincent shook his head.


End file.
